Rewind the Time

Last night,
Where to begin...
Alright, I'll start from the beginning of my day.

5:00pm-6:15pm (got ready)
*Why is it so hard to decide when you really want to impress a girl?

6:30pm (Annual Thanks Giving Reunion; Marc's House)
*It was fun seeing everyone again and everything. But damn, I just feel out of place sometimes. You know what i mean?? But It's cool, I believe what Dr. Seuss says.

9:57ish pm (Bittersweet Event)
* I ditch old friends to try and impress a girl... damn why am i trying so hard?...

Love flows naturally.
We sit still, in constant motion
Waiting.
Looking out, at the horizon
Wondering.
When?

Just as the tide & the moon
go hand in hand.
So does Love & Patience

I shouldn't need to impress anyone.

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind; Don't matter. And those so matter; Don't mind."
-Dr. S

So, switching topics here. In philosophy class, I've started to understand a little about morality.

To be happy is to be selfish. (well, sorta. I haven't read other theories yet)

"Wherever you turn, you find encouragement to put the happiness of others ahead of your own- to do what's best for the world, not for yourself.

...In every case, the ultimate motivation has been the same. Each person is doing what he believes will assure his or her happiness. What varies better then is the MEANS each has chosen to gain their happiness."

"...For the thief and the humanitarian each have the same motive-to do what he believes will make him or her feel good."

-Harry Browne

Just a little something something for ya'll to think about. =)

RQ (Random Quote)
“To wear a compassionate heart on my sleeve in order to benefit those who need it the most, not allowing those who abuse it to falter my ideals. ” - Merrielle Catan

lord.

please heal my left wrist tonight. i sinned again. too much of yours to give.
thinking about myself ... me.
ego
damn
.Lamb

what a ride last night.
Was going at least 15 mph on my longboard down the hill.
Jumped the curb and just kept on going.
till i reached the uphill
where i stumbled forward and landed on my left wrist.
AH
i need to learn to fall
and stop resisting.

You know it's an off day, the second you wake up.

We just need to wake up at the best part of dreams.
It ss nice to unload a months worth of agony about life and what not. to someone that listens. Happy Thanks Giving.

today was pretty dull. Just a lot of studying for my math test tomorrow. Thats about it. And now its 9:10 p.m. My bed time xP
okay. Just 1 more year of this schedule and ill have my vacation =)
UC Santa Cruz, your only a year away.
Please Lord keep my frustration at bay...
and provide me motivation, everyday.

AHH

where have i been? To be honest i have been smooking way too much weed these past few days...Anyways today was fine and dandy. Woke up, went to school, took a test (Please let Anthony, Eddie, Alex and me do well on this test) . Met a few new people too. i.e. Erika =)

I talked to Brenda Garcia tonight. I haven't heard and seen her in a while. and when that happens old feelings rise up. Usually. But it didn't this time. I feel nothing for her. Does it mean my heart hardened? She was one of the few girls that made my feel warm inside. But now I'm off chasing that feeling somewhere else...

I just wanted to say...

sorry for my last post. Some wack ass big ego words put together to look like a poem. -.- I cleared my head today. I just stopped looking at myself, my life, me; and looked up in the clouds.
I'm very grateful for today
philosophy finally clicked
for just a brief moment
while paper and pen was at hand.

RS (random statement): I like this quote "Love is like science with freedom." you know what you can get, and you know the facts. you just need to see it to believe it. you need to feel it to be sure of it.

Today

worked out alright. I schemed up a plan to avoid making up a test today. I wasn't ready last Thursday so i played hookie. And I still wasnt ready today. The plan was to show up 30 minutes late. That would give me enough time to go to class but not enough time to take the test. It backfired. I ended up taking the test. But to my surprise, it wasn't that hard. Thanks to a little help. (thank you lord for hearing my prayer in the nick of time =) A buddy of mine from sophomore year gave me a help on a few questions as i was sitting outside the classroom making up the exam.
I got lucky =)

After that, it was math homework time. And i don't know why but each time I start to focus on math, girls seem to distract me. I don't really mind, but i need to get my !@#$ together!

Lizzy's sister was nice though. I can't believe i forgot her name! I think it started with a "C"? O well ill bump into her again.

should i end with a little poem?
Hmm lets see if i got it tonight.

uhhhhhh

I need some inspiration!
So my thoughts can flow throughout my nerves
until it reaches the very tips
and flood this blog with my awesomeness!
=P

Doug Larson - Cartoonist & Philosopher

Establishing goals is all right if you don't let them deprive you of interesting detours.

Sometimes opportunity knocks, but most of the time it sneaks up and then quietly steals away.

The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate.

Utility is when you have one telephone, luxury is when you have two, opulence is when you have three - and paradise is when you have none.

3 things i learned today.

#1. Girl's notice you more when are with another girl.

I dunno why but i got a lot of looks today when i was walking with my friend =)

#2. The Double Take

When a girl takes a second glance at you.
I think it is a good thing. =)

#3 How to find the Sum of an Arithmetic Sequence

Sum of the whole sequence = (first term) + (ending term-first term) x Difference

Nothing really special today... EXCEPT! I got a new follower! thats all.

I was told once.

that the best way to get over a girl is to turning her into literature...
so thats why I'm not that great at poetry yet.
I need more experiences.
Need more adventures.
more random
moments.

i need life.

and 5 pasted by and saw the four of them.

She has seen One before,
but cant seem to comprehend it.
Lapsing back through time
Took life by the hand.
Rewound it.
Just like an editor, took it scene by scene, and found it.
Just like the director, wrote the script and shot it.

Ouch

So that skate home wasn't such a great idea, well thats what i told myself after i fell on my other wrist... its not broken just sprained. I hope by tomorrow ill be-able to lift some boxes. =/ anyways today was chill. Woke up, played some games till 1 chilled and relaxed until 2, then watched 500 Days of Summer. Yea i know its a chick flick. But a good one, i might add. These movies give me hope. Damn i must sound like a vagina right now. O well, who cares.

its dinner time, then off to bed. and another Glorious day tomorrow. Well, ill make the best of it.

-Jian (bye in Mandarin)

And two became three,
ahhhhh how it feels good to just sit quitly alone in my house. its indescribable, the lights are all off and for once i can hear myself t.hink. and all that sykoku worked too, thanks. I give thanks for today's lunch as well, Bj's pizza is great. But why did i have to get tempted today and give in? Damn i didnt need to smoke weed to have that kind of feeling. Of loneliness.
like being the out of tune key on the piano.
some wack ass shit
Who loves it?
thats why three became 4

Jesus

"I commit myself to serving you and following you, but I am going to need your help."

imma do a little free write

Cupid's Child
Destined for Love
Seeker of Soul-mate.
Each time he gets near
He stumbles and trips
and scares off
whatever chance
he had
of capturing it.

But that won't stop him
not even near
He doesn't give up.
Cupid's kid
ain't no chump!

=P goodbye and goodnight

I am dedicated now. To write in here everyday. Even though I only have 1 reader. This is for you. And me too, so i can improve as a writer. =)

If Hank Moody (Californication) can write something great. I can too!

Alright here it goes

8:30 am- wake up time
8:31 am- pissed
8:32 am- nap

9:30 am- woke up for the 2nd time of the day.

brushed teeth
did a few pushups (3)
ate some breakfast (most important meal of the day)
Californication
Reup'ed at Staters Bro.

I'm a born hustler. Thanks to my mom and dad =)

dropped off my mom and the goods at the family store

said my goodbyes
and went off to school
to show daddy, I'm not a fool.






as my heart fills with agony and disgust
why is it that im always taunted by lust
it seems to me.
that everywhere i goooo
girls always wanna knoow
i just want to be.
in love.

damn emo day huh...

Everyone has those days, where you know you walked forward a few extra steps. And other days, where you just get knocked back a couple.

Well today was different, i just took a seat and sat back.
Rested on those steps, and scratched my itchy butt-crack.
Watching quietly as time took it's tole.
Chill and calm as if i just smoked a bowl.
I may not know much about the big puzzle of life
but I'm quite knowledgeable,
about Ice-cream...
and how it does wonders for the soul. =)

the little things in life

MMMmmM its all about BEN & JERRY'S CINNAMON BUN ICECREAM (caramel ice-cream with cinnamon swirls and chunks of cinnamon bun DOUGH) - heaven in a tub. too bad its only 1 pint...

damn bastards, they know about supply and demand....

Re-greasing the Wheels.

Dear Lord, I have been asking you for a guidance these past few months and it seems like you have delivered little signs of which direction to take. The first was my surfboard that showed me the location of where you want me to be. The place where my soul belongs. Santa Cruz. Right by the ocean and the Trees. I also see progress with girls here and there. Im referring to last Thursday, where pussy was just begging me to get it all wet with my tongue and lips. Through Communication i mean =) I just started to get back in touch with my chatty personality that i have in my mind. My physical words do not flow smoothly as the waves of phrases and sentences i stir up in the subconscious. It seems now that i have a passion for writing... creative writing that is. Cause i can't get past all the grammar bullshit. Damn English 68! i will have my revenge and i Will CONQUER THY! As of right now i am satisfied at the rate I'm hiking up my path. So far Sudoku is great. Pre-Cal is getting easier. And Christianity is changing my life. I have some bridges that i need to revisit and patch up. Such as Rowena. It's as if she is the Pam(The Office) in my life.