New Y

ears and ive have discovered what the 19th annual resolution is. Accrual the 3rd.
Because i was still young back then.
i think i know what annuel resolution i have in mind now.
man
forget all this.
trying to exceed the standerard
i just want to connect to everything i want to connect to people more.
hit i just realed im still a little kid
bullshitinn myself that i was much older hahaha
woohoo 2010
its going to be a great year
cause i learned
fore the expreences of 2001 already and i feel
i knw
i ='bekeueve
that there are even wow
jst lost in my thoughts right now.
im fucking thirsty right now
haha new years rease
take it easy on the herb
i dunno why but im so blazed out right now
ahhhh
im sorry delta
im fstill shy
and being high
dont
help
but one day
fire
works will go off
and the heat
will apperar.
Call of ducty tactic: Granade Ranger
its going to be great^not very good unless you can aim
do you ever feellike your life is like a movie
everything around you is part of the scene or prop
the script
and in frame
damn life
is great

have you ever had those reoccurring dreams?

where you know its a dream.
But for some reason.
you just can't change it?

dazzzzzing offfffff.
damn this bud got
me ssssstonnnned.
hahaha. cant think
of the bad of today.
just let all it go.
and
take
in
the
new
the
air
crystal clear
haha yea
im tryin too hard now.
anywhos
im fing high
hard as fuck to write when your not comfortable.
i just noticed where i relief my angry at.
well 26th
today wasnt so bad
after all.

[the clouds has lifted and no where near.]
while the(sun)
bleedss
steadly
away
...

Merry Christmas

and happy birthday Jesus!

How to

know when your're ready for a trim.
|
|
|
|
|
v
down there.
|
|
v
=)

#1. When the fro below,
needs more shampoo,
than the hairdo. (-_-)

#2. When a girl needs to use a scrunchy to do some work. HAHA luckily that hasn't happened yet.

Creativity

give me the Freedom to make mistakes.

What

is the difference between: Intelligence and Knowledge?

Mark 12:35-37

"How is it that the scribes say that the Christ is David's son? By the holy spirt David himself said, "Jehovah said to my Lord: "Sit at my right hand until I put your enemies beneath your feet." David himself calls him 'Lord,' but how does it come that he is his son?"
-Jesus (according to Mark)

Does this mean that Jesus is questioning the title 'Son of God'?

the next line is:

"And the great crowd was listening to him with pleasure."

??? this just leaves me alone to ponder about what he said.
No help what so ever. (-_-)

Who ever Jesus was. He knew who he was.
I want that.

2 things that i want to know.

#1 Why can't I venture off looking for love?

-People always say you have to wait for it.
-FUCK THAT
-I'm TIRED OF WAITING.
-IM FREAKEN CURIOUS ABOUT THIS phenomena.

and

#2 How do i know, when its right in front of me?

-Is it that glow you get whenever youre around that one special someone?
-When you cant stop smiling cause youre with them?

Movies just make me think about it more.

Love,
seems to be the Core
of
LIFE

Everyone wants it
Few have it
The world needs it.

Wow. Just thinking about this.
All im looking for is a girl to cuddle with during these cold winter nights.
and maybe a little fooling around too =)
Maybe I can just wait for love after all.

Hopeful

for today. Thank you Hope for giving me,
hope.
With your starless night hair.
I stumble with every stare
into
those brown eyes that
mesmerize.
To dreamers alike
who fantasize.
what's it like,
between those thighs? =)

I got two ways to go from here:

With your dark hazel tone.
Life isn't as enjoyable
when you're all alone.
With that said and done.
Why dont we exchange numbers,
so we can start some fun. =)

ORRR.

With that sexy hazel tone
Hope,
can we just bone?
8===D~(Y)

HAHA IM DONE. thats it. Caput. I hope you got a good laugh out of that.

P.S. I am not a perv. Just passionate =D

So,

I now realize how anti-social i am now. Or maybe its just when I'm high. But its not like i dont want to talk to people. Its just i cant connect with them anymore. Everyone feels so distant now. Like they are just acquaintances.

Or hell.

It could be just me because i got high.
I now will not abuse the herb.

I will only smoke

1. For connecting closer with nature (surfing)
2. To examine life in another outlook.
and
3. Maybe in the future, to share the experience with a special someone. (only if she really wants to)

No more giving in to free weed!
AGHH

im stronger than this.
out.
one.
Ng.

Ah,

on a good one, today. =)

ladies,
a few things you need to know.
Money lasts longer than sex.
the rich last longer than the sexy.

but in the end.
love is still there;
when the paper is all gone.

ah, still a bit high. =D
it got me all bubbly though.
not in a good way either ( '.' )

I JUST WANTED TO SAY.

thank you.

AHH. im ffffffreakn high.

haha and its only 12 :40.

The typical day of work.
but, that chicken salad sandwich today;
Bu Hao <- no good.
this hash makes up for it though.
=)
i got a few things i gotta do today.
so ill continue
in a bit.

AHHHH
fresh now.
and i must take a bow.
and also must say
Compliment the chef
for this
is a
perfect
mesh.

Ah,
fuck
i was just denied

(random thought) Rt: It all of a sudden got darker.
as the airplane flew by.

Auh.
Satisfied.
=)

I dont know if i should

continue writing. Haha sorry jennifer i stole that from you. But this is the knock off version =P.
So,
Where to begin?
At the end?
that means.
that there will be
no story to tell.
which is swell.
=)
that means
no story to tell.

Dear Mama,

If I only learned one thing from you through all these years. Its this: Get money before girls.
Sorry ladies, "I picked up the book of love. But sadly, the introduction didn't grab me."
"So, i decided to just wait.
Until the day i bump into my soul-mate." -Trevor (Gym Class Heros)

Now its time for me
to take my leave,
Off to the land of dreams,
where all you need to do
is
make believe.

-Ally Cat

YEAH SON! huh take that Silverstiein! im just kidding i love you man. your great. my inspiration.
to reach where the sidewalk ends.
thats my mission.

i wrote something great tonight.

but i closed the aim box. Well who ever read it. Only they will know. -O.O-

I opened up my heart today,

spiritually. But before i go any further let me say thanks to God for delivering the guardian angel i asked for. =)
As i was passing the student life center on my way to the library, the word "Free" caught my eye and reeled me in. They were giving away FREE cup of noodles and hot coco!!! As a part of finals week.

As i was about to grab my noodles and go, the girl at the counter asked me if i would like to take a "free" relaxing class. The first thing in my mind was A MASSAGE. But she shot my theory to the can, but told me to just give it a try. Being the persuadable guy i am, i did.

And the best decision i have made all week!

When i first got in, I didn't know what to expect.
Not even the slightest idea that the women in front of me was my guardian angel, Annette.
She just told me to take off my glasses and lay down on this comfy table bed.
So i did what i was told. And laid on the bed.
Annette then asked if we could pray before we started on our journey. And i said "Yes"
So i emptied out all but one of my pockets. Free from the burden. And closed my eyes.

Relaxing is hard. But smiling is harder! (well for me anyways.)
I learned the way to truly open our hearts, is to smile. =D (a real smile that comes deep from within)
It may be a stiff forced smile at first.
But that is because of the negative emotions, thoughts, and layers that sufficate our hearts.
All that self consciousness and stress
Drags our spirt down and closes up our soul.
Once we push past that.
That is when we can truly relax, find peace, and open up.

It took me a good hour of meditating with Annette to get a glimpse of God within me.
I was awaken with a sense of happiness, energy, and compassion.
It felt like i could rule the world! (or at least finish studying for my final tomorrow =D )

And i felt like my body was flushed after.
1. casue i gave out a big fart during the end of the session.
and 2. i went to the bathroom 3 times after it!

Dreamin..

So it all started off at a party or a dance, my memory is a bit hazy
and i saw this girl who smiled at me
So i went up to her introduced myself, and started to dance with her. It was pretty sweet.
We were "Slow Dancing", like the good old days
and then some crazy shit was happening
where two guys were fighting for their lives.
One was an alien and the other was an alien hater!
Blood was shed, and in the mist of all that an innocent bystander was killed. Lucky it wasn't my date.
Time then started moving really fast. And i was at home, my future more luxurious house. Planting the innocent one in a pot on my balcony so my parents wouldnt know that i was helping the alien -O.O-

then i saw her again

Casey

we smiled at each other

and i swear i could feel the intimacy between us. Even though i knew it was a dream

Please,

If you are really watching over me.
If you are really here beside me.
If you are really a part of me.
All I ask for.
Is strength
for tomorrow.
And happiness
for today.

Rewind the Time

Last night,
Where to begin...
Alright, I'll start from the beginning of my day.

5:00pm-6:15pm (got ready)
*Why is it so hard to decide when you really want to impress a girl?

6:30pm (Annual Thanks Giving Reunion; Marc's House)
*It was fun seeing everyone again and everything. But damn, I just feel out of place sometimes. You know what i mean?? But It's cool, I believe what Dr. Seuss says.

9:57ish pm (Bittersweet Event)
* I ditch old friends to try and impress a girl... damn why am i trying so hard?...

Love flows naturally.
We sit still, in constant motion
Waiting.
Looking out, at the horizon
Wondering.
When?

Just as the tide & the moon
go hand in hand.
So does Love & Patience

I shouldn't need to impress anyone.

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind; Don't matter. And those so matter; Don't mind."
-Dr. S

So, switching topics here. In philosophy class, I've started to understand a little about morality.

To be happy is to be selfish. (well, sorta. I haven't read other theories yet)

"Wherever you turn, you find encouragement to put the happiness of others ahead of your own- to do what's best for the world, not for yourself.

...In every case, the ultimate motivation has been the same. Each person is doing what he believes will assure his or her happiness. What varies better then is the MEANS each has chosen to gain their happiness."

"...For the thief and the humanitarian each have the same motive-to do what he believes will make him or her feel good."

-Harry Browne

Just a little something something for ya'll to think about. =)

RQ (Random Quote)
“To wear a compassionate heart on my sleeve in order to benefit those who need it the most, not allowing those who abuse it to falter my ideals. ” - Merrielle Catan

lord.

please heal my left wrist tonight. i sinned again. too much of yours to give.
thinking about myself ... me.
ego
damn
.Lamb

what a ride last night.
Was going at least 15 mph on my longboard down the hill.
Jumped the curb and just kept on going.
till i reached the uphill
where i stumbled forward and landed on my left wrist.
AH
i need to learn to fall
and stop resisting.

You know it's an off day, the second you wake up.

We just need to wake up at the best part of dreams.
It ss nice to unload a months worth of agony about life and what not. to someone that listens. Happy Thanks Giving.

today was pretty dull. Just a lot of studying for my math test tomorrow. Thats about it. And now its 9:10 p.m. My bed time xP
okay. Just 1 more year of this schedule and ill have my vacation =)
UC Santa Cruz, your only a year away.
Please Lord keep my frustration at bay...
and provide me motivation, everyday.

AHH

where have i been? To be honest i have been smooking way too much weed these past few days...Anyways today was fine and dandy. Woke up, went to school, took a test (Please let Anthony, Eddie, Alex and me do well on this test) . Met a few new people too. i.e. Erika =)

I talked to Brenda Garcia tonight. I haven't heard and seen her in a while. and when that happens old feelings rise up. Usually. But it didn't this time. I feel nothing for her. Does it mean my heart hardened? She was one of the few girls that made my feel warm inside. But now I'm off chasing that feeling somewhere else...

I just wanted to say...

sorry for my last post. Some wack ass big ego words put together to look like a poem. -.- I cleared my head today. I just stopped looking at myself, my life, me; and looked up in the clouds.
I'm very grateful for today
philosophy finally clicked
for just a brief moment
while paper and pen was at hand.

RS (random statement): I like this quote "Love is like science with freedom." you know what you can get, and you know the facts. you just need to see it to believe it. you need to feel it to be sure of it.

Today

worked out alright. I schemed up a plan to avoid making up a test today. I wasn't ready last Thursday so i played hookie. And I still wasnt ready today. The plan was to show up 30 minutes late. That would give me enough time to go to class but not enough time to take the test. It backfired. I ended up taking the test. But to my surprise, it wasn't that hard. Thanks to a little help. (thank you lord for hearing my prayer in the nick of time =) A buddy of mine from sophomore year gave me a help on a few questions as i was sitting outside the classroom making up the exam.
I got lucky =)

After that, it was math homework time. And i don't know why but each time I start to focus on math, girls seem to distract me. I don't really mind, but i need to get my !@#$ together!

Lizzy's sister was nice though. I can't believe i forgot her name! I think it started with a "C"? O well ill bump into her again.

should i end with a little poem?
Hmm lets see if i got it tonight.

uhhhhhh

I need some inspiration!
So my thoughts can flow throughout my nerves
until it reaches the very tips
and flood this blog with my awesomeness!
=P

Doug Larson - Cartoonist & Philosopher

Establishing goals is all right if you don't let them deprive you of interesting detours.

Sometimes opportunity knocks, but most of the time it sneaks up and then quietly steals away.

The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate.

Utility is when you have one telephone, luxury is when you have two, opulence is when you have three - and paradise is when you have none.

3 things i learned today.

#1. Girl's notice you more when are with another girl.

I dunno why but i got a lot of looks today when i was walking with my friend =)

#2. The Double Take

When a girl takes a second glance at you.
I think it is a good thing. =)

#3 How to find the Sum of an Arithmetic Sequence

Sum of the whole sequence = (first term) + (ending term-first term) x Difference

Nothing really special today... EXCEPT! I got a new follower! thats all.

I was told once.

that the best way to get over a girl is to turning her into literature...
so thats why I'm not that great at poetry yet.
I need more experiences.
Need more adventures.
more random
moments.

i need life.

and 5 pasted by and saw the four of them.

She has seen One before,
but cant seem to comprehend it.
Lapsing back through time
Took life by the hand.
Rewound it.
Just like an editor, took it scene by scene, and found it.
Just like the director, wrote the script and shot it.

Ouch

So that skate home wasn't such a great idea, well thats what i told myself after i fell on my other wrist... its not broken just sprained. I hope by tomorrow ill be-able to lift some boxes. =/ anyways today was chill. Woke up, played some games till 1 chilled and relaxed until 2, then watched 500 Days of Summer. Yea i know its a chick flick. But a good one, i might add. These movies give me hope. Damn i must sound like a vagina right now. O well, who cares.

its dinner time, then off to bed. and another Glorious day tomorrow. Well, ill make the best of it.

-Jian (bye in Mandarin)

And two became three,
ahhhhh how it feels good to just sit quitly alone in my house. its indescribable, the lights are all off and for once i can hear myself t.hink. and all that sykoku worked too, thanks. I give thanks for today's lunch as well, Bj's pizza is great. But why did i have to get tempted today and give in? Damn i didnt need to smoke weed to have that kind of feeling. Of loneliness.
like being the out of tune key on the piano.
some wack ass shit
Who loves it?
thats why three became 4

Jesus

"I commit myself to serving you and following you, but I am going to need your help."

imma do a little free write

Cupid's Child
Destined for Love
Seeker of Soul-mate.
Each time he gets near
He stumbles and trips
and scares off
whatever chance
he had
of capturing it.

But that won't stop him
not even near
He doesn't give up.
Cupid's kid
ain't no chump!

=P goodbye and goodnight

I am dedicated now. To write in here everyday. Even though I only have 1 reader. This is for you. And me too, so i can improve as a writer. =)

If Hank Moody (Californication) can write something great. I can too!

Alright here it goes

8:30 am- wake up time
8:31 am- pissed
8:32 am- nap

9:30 am- woke up for the 2nd time of the day.

brushed teeth
did a few pushups (3)
ate some breakfast (most important meal of the day)
Californication
Reup'ed at Staters Bro.

I'm a born hustler. Thanks to my mom and dad =)

dropped off my mom and the goods at the family store

said my goodbyes
and went off to school
to show daddy, I'm not a fool.






as my heart fills with agony and disgust
why is it that im always taunted by lust
it seems to me.
that everywhere i goooo
girls always wanna knoow
i just want to be.
in love.

damn emo day huh...

Everyone has those days, where you know you walked forward a few extra steps. And other days, where you just get knocked back a couple.

Well today was different, i just took a seat and sat back.
Rested on those steps, and scratched my itchy butt-crack.
Watching quietly as time took it's tole.
Chill and calm as if i just smoked a bowl.
I may not know much about the big puzzle of life
but I'm quite knowledgeable,
about Ice-cream...
and how it does wonders for the soul. =)

the little things in life

MMMmmM its all about BEN & JERRY'S CINNAMON BUN ICECREAM (caramel ice-cream with cinnamon swirls and chunks of cinnamon bun DOUGH) - heaven in a tub. too bad its only 1 pint...

damn bastards, they know about supply and demand....

Re-greasing the Wheels.

Dear Lord, I have been asking you for a guidance these past few months and it seems like you have delivered little signs of which direction to take. The first was my surfboard that showed me the location of where you want me to be. The place where my soul belongs. Santa Cruz. Right by the ocean and the Trees. I also see progress with girls here and there. Im referring to last Thursday, where pussy was just begging me to get it all wet with my tongue and lips. Through Communication i mean =) I just started to get back in touch with my chatty personality that i have in my mind. My physical words do not flow smoothly as the waves of phrases and sentences i stir up in the subconscious. It seems now that i have a passion for writing... creative writing that is. Cause i can't get past all the grammar bullshit. Damn English 68! i will have my revenge and i Will CONQUER THY! As of right now i am satisfied at the rate I'm hiking up my path. So far Sudoku is great. Pre-Cal is getting easier. And Christianity is changing my life. I have some bridges that i need to revisit and patch up. Such as Rowena. It's as if she is the Pam(The Office) in my life.